I spent several months feeling nervous when it came to thinking about going on Mia’s boat this summer. I don’t know exactly why. I grew up going on boats and I’ve been on a week-long cruise before, but the thought of going on a boat again created a feeling of fear. I have been facing and overcoming many fears lately. So as the day approached to launch the boat, I was both anxious and excited to overcome the fear. I couldn’t sleep the night before because I was feeling nervous. But when the day came, my thought was, “I can’t wait to get to the other side of this and get past the fear so I don’t have to feel it anymore!”
As I was mentally preparing myself for this new challenge, Mia was on the boat physically preparing to launch it. She put it in the water, and I stepped on the boat. I have never felt such a push-pull of not wanting to go and desperately wanting to go at the same time. The “wanting to go” was stronger. I was determined to go and face whatever fear I had head on and get to the other side of it.
The boat pulled away from the dock. Mia was checking all the equipment, making sure everything was working. I was monitoring how I was feeling physically in addition to my anxiety level. There were two parts of the ride that I was most concerned about. One was being in the middle of the Hudson River far from shore. The other was going under the Tappan Zee Bridge. We had to do both in this first trip. As we approached the middle of the river, I was nervous but not even close to feeling as scared as I had imagined. Then we approached the bridge and my anxiety shot up a bit at first, but as we went under it, it was exciting. It actually felt thrilling to go under the bridge! I realized that I was not only getting over a fear, but I was having FUN! It was at that point that I asked Mia if we could stay out on the river longer so that I could really get used to being on the water.
We rode over to the other side of the river to get gas. We tied up the boat and had some lunch at the restaurant there. I felt like I was on vacation for the first time in years! I loved the feeling. I was so happy and relaxed. When we were finished, we drove the boat back across the river and under the bridge again to the marina. I even drove the boat for a few minutes (see picture above). It felt so good to have had that first boat ride. I was just getting sick and tired of feeling scared. I knew that the only way to get over this was to go through it.
A few days later, we went on the boat with a few friends. I was far less nervous than before. What started out as a little boat ride surprisingly became a trip down the Hudson into Manhattan! The most thrilling part of the trip was going under the George Washington Bridge. (see pics below). One of the people we were with had mentioned that he wanted to see the view of Manhattan from the water because he had never seen it from that perspective before. As I rode down the Hudson, I understood what he meant on many levels, not just the physical. My world is opening up again. I have been having many changes in perspective in recent months. Looking at things from new vantage points and angles is becoming like a breath of fresh air to me. I am starting to feel revitalized with each new experience. I wish I wasn’t still nervous about trying new things as I recover, but as long as I keep moving forward through each challenge I know I’ll be fine.
Inspirational Quote Of The Week – “When our motivation is greater than our fear, it is amazing what we can achieve.” ~Anonymous